Tuesday, 31 August 2010

The Queen's Meme #51 - The Cooking 101 Meme

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

Welcome to The Queen's Meme #51
It's called the Cooking 101 Meme

I could use some cooking advice. In fact, I could use a LOT of cooking advice. Would you indulge me? If you've read my blog very long you know that my kitchen disasters are legendary. I have a few culinary questions for you. Please feel free to share recipes!! (and instructions on how to decode them)

1. What is the best dish you can cook?  Where's the kitchen? You're not asking me to cook something are you. Probably cornflakes.

2. Do I have to beat eggs or can I whip them gently? Sounds so violent to me. I think you need to beat them until they start to yolk.

3. I am reading a recipe right now for Hearty Beef-n-Cheese Pie from a recipe book I dug out of the cabinet. The instructions read..."Preheat oven to 375 degrees. In large frying pan, brown ground beef, onion and green pepper."
I am already lost. Why must I turn on the oven and put the frying pan in it? And how does one turn beef AND peppers brown at the same time?!
What color should the onion be? They are telling you that the onion might as well be rainbow coloured. It will still taste the same. I'm confused about just what ground beef is. Has it been left on the floor?

4. Did you ever cook something for your family that no one enjoyed and you had to throw out? No one has asked me to. They don't want food poisoning.

5. Why do all recipes say "mix sugar, flour and salt?" Don't they cancel out the other? I would think so too. The concoction sounds like a very evil brew.

6. Why must you add eggs "one at a time" to a mixing bowl? Does anybody really know the answer to this question? It's simple really. Try throwing four eggs in the bowl in one go!

7. Please post the recipe to something you think even I can cook.

Get 1 cracker.
Spread butter on top of cracker.
Select a type of cheese you prefer, and slice some on top of the cracker.

I am begging you! It is no fun being a afraid of my own crockpot.

Your Hungry Queen


coopernicus said...

slice cheese on a cracker???

where'z the can of Cheez Whiz???

Jamie said...

I see you are a "back to basics" "if God didn't make it ready to eat, it's not food" kind of guy.

Debster said...

I would stop at the butter on the cracker. mmmm...butter...