Tuesday 29 September 2009

The Queen's Meme #12 - The Crazy Hospital Meme



Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

Welcome to The Queen's Meme #12.
A Tuesday meme
Sometimes silly. Sometimes serious. Always fun!
Step out of the box. Be creative. Use your imagination.
No one's answers are quite like yours.

And please, stay out of the dungeon.
You don't want to go there.


My dad is in the hospital this week. I have nice, neat, clean Institutions on my brain.
Ergo, you get The Crazy Hospital Meme. Let's get institutionalized, shall we?


The Crazy Hospital Meme

1. What is the strangest thing that has ever happened to you in a hospital (besides your illness)? Not enough towels? No condiments? Can't get your favorite channels? Come on, you can tell me. **Or....maybe this answer doesn't involve you being the patient.**

The lavatories were not locked in the ward I was in when I was in hospital so that the nurses could rescue us. It led to some embarassing situations!

2. If you had your choice of IV cocktails, what would you choose?

IV? Is this the Roman numeral for 'four'? I didn't know they served cocktails in hospital. I'll have to ask the nurse.

3. Tell us your funniest hospital story.

I was taking my father into hospital. He was having a heart bypass operation. All the patients had their jackets wide open so people could see their red 'zips' from throat to naval, as if they were proud of showing them off.. They were nicknamed 'the zipper club'. I told my father to keep his jacket well covered whenever I visit!

4. Do you have any hospital phobias?  It's not so much the hospital, but rather never managing to get out!

5. Imagine you are in bed trying to get some sleep after a long night of interruptions by the nurse on duty who would NOT stop waking you up to see if you were asleep...It is 3am. You finally get to sleep. She comes in at 3:15 and wakes you up again. What happens next?

I ask her to get out of my bed.


6. You are stuck in the elevator with an attractive person of the opposite sex. You notice there is no wedding band. Do you strike up a conversation? If so, what is the first thing you would say?

Where's your wedding band and do you know how to stop the elevator from moving?

7. A very odd patient wanders into your room from the upstairs psychiatric ward. What do you do?

Tell him that Napoleon had been in earlier and was asking him where he was.

Monday 21 September 2009

The Queen's Tuesday Meme #11 The Loud & Raucous Poetry Meme (Not)



Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....


Welcome to The Queen's Meme #11.
A Tuesday meme
Sometimes silly. Sometimes serious. Always fun!
Step out of the box. Be creative. Use your imagination.
No one's answers are quite like yours.

And please, stay out of the dungeon.
You don't want to go there.

This week the questions are sheer poetry. Nonsensical. Cerebral. Challenging. The answers should be too.
I have given you seven familiar limericks. Your job is to change them by filling in the blanks. Here's an example of a limerick.

There was an Old Man in a tree,
Who was horribly bored by a Bee;
When they said, 'Does it buzz?'
He replied, 'Yes, it does!'
'It's a regular brute of a Bee!'


Lines 1, 2 & 5 rhyme. Lines 3 & 4 rhyme. You can use more than one word to fill the blank but the end words must rhyme appropriately. Now fill in the blanks with the limericks I've given you. Don't think about them too much. Usually the first word that pops in your head can be used to make a very funny poem. Try it!



1.There was an Old Man of great age
Who lived upon  eggs in a cage
When that did not work
He took the hen, went berserk
That nasty Old Man of a rage.

2. There was a Young Lady whose eyes
Were unique as to color and size
When she opened them wide
People all turned aside
And started away in great size.

3. There was a Young Lady of Wales
Who casually sat on a nail
When the door squeezed her arm
She exclaimed, 'I am calm?'
This courageous Young Lady of ails.

4.There was an Old Man with a rose
Who bumped at it with his nose;
But they called out, 'that's bad!
You're a horrid old cad!'
So they smashed that Old Man with a hose


5. There was a Young Lady whose dress,
Came untied when the birds ate cress.
But she said: 'I don't care!
All the birds in the air
Are welcome to sit on my breast!'


6. There was an Old Man of the sea,
Who never knew what he should be;
So he tore off his top,
And behaved like a mop,
That intrinsic Old Man of great glee..

7. There was an Old Man of Lochnor,
Who had the most curious snore;
For while he was asleep,
He slept on a heap.
That funny Old Man of no more.

Hat tip: Edward Lear
Original limericks are HERE. Don't peek 'til you've finished or it's you-know-where for the likes of you.

Monday 14 September 2009

The Queen's Meme #10 The Tick Tock Meme

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

The Queen's Meme #10 The Tick Tock Meme


Welcome to The Queen's Meme #10.
A Tuesday meme posted early this week
Sometimes silly. Sometimes serious. Always fun!
Step out of the box. Be creative. Use your imagination. No one's answers are quite like yours.


And please, stay out of the dungeon.
You don't want to go there.

1. Are you a Rolex watch, a Mickey Mouse watch, or a pocket watch? Rolex all the way...to have a Micky Mouse watch would be goofy!

2. Can you think of a time when you couldn't see the forest for the trees? Another 'deep' question, Mimi! When I chopped all the trees down I could see the forest....all firewood!

3. Can you think of a time when you were on the outside looking in?
What did you see? Lots of lovely toys in the shop near Christmas.

4. Go back in time. Maybe a long time ago, maybe today. Pick an hour you'd like to freeze frame forever and tell us why. It doesn't have to be THE most important hour of your life, but make it a good one. Well that was when.....I think I'll keep that to myself!

5. If you were a cuckoo clock, what would others say about you? Why do you have to keep going outside every hour? Put your feet up and watch the tv instead.

6. Can you think of a time when time stood still? When I broke my watch!

7. Watch this! You are a stopwatch. What would you stop? Stop going around in circles all day.

8. Imagine you were just born and have infinite wisdom. After the doctor smacks your newborn dust ruffle you look around and say to the Universe: "Give me a whole lifetime to do "this" and I will bless the day I was born."
What did you choose? Having a computer that will never need an upgrade or have a new Windows system every couple of years.


If I were you, I'd do the meme.

Friday 11 September 2009

Introduction

Welcome to the first message in my Meme Holodeck.

The Holodeck is ment to store all the memes that appear in my sister blog Captain Picard's Journal Take a look there if you haven't been there before.

And now..set the Holodeck for the first Meme!